I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My parents were always fighting and arguing. This included throwing things and hitting. It made me an angry child. I reacted to my anger by lashing out and doing things to get into trouble, like stealing cars and doing drugs. Through my bouts of anger and depression, though, I always felt like someone was watching over me. I always dismissed it and tried hard not to give it much thought. Sometimes that was hard because I would feel it – especially when I was in danger. I always felt deep inside it was something #spiritual.
I also acted out with my friends to get attention. I used my sense of humor to make my friends laugh.
Coming from a Jewish family my parents wanted me to have a Bar Mitzvah. The Bar Mitzvah is a coming of age ritual among the Jewish people. A Bar Mitzvah is the ritual for a boy and the Bat Mitzvah is the ritual for a girl. At the completion of the ritual our family, friends and community acknowledge us as adult members of our community. It’s similar to the Catholic Confirmation.
To have a Bar Mitzvah I had to attend Hebrew School. In Hebrew School I acted out in class and got into lots of trouble. I made fun of the orthodox Jewish men in prayer.
I was also the only Jewish boy on a Catholic #Church baseball team. I acted out in the Church also. I would drink the Holy water from the cistern. I blew out the memorial candles saying Happy Birthday as I did.
When I was thirteen I had an accident. I fell from a train station thirty feet onto the train tracks. I broke my wrists and got banged up pretty bad, requiring stiches. This brings me back to that someone watching over me. Something happened that was not of this world BUT of GOD.
I can only explain it to you as I experienced it as a thirteen year old boy. My head hit the train tracks. There was an explosion inside me when it did. I saw my life playing before my eyes. It was like watching a movie of my entire life so far. I also saw a very bright light. I mean bright like the sun. The light was warm and comforting but I couldn’t look at ir because of its brightness. There were also voices. I couldn’t see anyone through the bright light and I couldn’t hear what the voices were saying. I wasn’t in any pain. And I knew I wasn’t in my body. I could think and speak but I wasn’t in my body. I felt like someone was holding me in their arms, cradling me like a baby. I began to get scared. I asked if I was dead. There was no answer. I said: I don’t want to die!
With that I was in my body, laying on the train tracks bleeding. I stood up and pulled myself back up onto the platform. I passed out. I awake in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.
That event changed me. Not for the better. I got angrier. I acted out even more. And I got into more trouble. I wound up in juvenile detention and group homes.
Eventually I grew up and got my act together. I got married too. I married a woman I had met at the group home. I still did cocaine to escape my dysfunctional past. I was able to move past that eventually. I got a good job as a doorman at an apartment building in New York City. It was a good job. I enjoyed it. My wife and I fought a lot and divorced.
I met my second wife on a blind date. She was had a great sense of humor and was always making me laugh. Her family was somewhat normal. They were also #Christian.
I would attend Church services with my wife. I was still me, though. I made fun of the worship music and the waving of the hands in the air. I did this because I felt uncomfortable and out of place. My wife wanted me to feel the presence of God and become one with Him and our family. Oh sure, I thought, that’s what I’m going to do. Right. I’m going to join these Jesus freaks and Bible thumpers. Not happening!
At one point I changed my work shift to the 3-11 shift at the utility company I work for. I wanted to avoid the rush hour traffic as I now lived in Coram, Long Island. My marriage was going through a rough period. My wife had always been a little heavy. She had Bariatric surgery to help her lose weight. She did. Also eventually losing her 240 pound husband.
I began looking for another escape for the misery I was feeling in my marriage. I researched angels. I was always fascinated by angels. I started chatting with people on Facebook at night. One of the people I chatted on Facebook with was a guy from the group home I had been in. I had never met, though. His name is Billy Keeler.
He was a Born Again Christian. I didn’t know that at the time. He would post spiritual quotes and saying on Facebook. I thought: Oh, great. Another Jesus freak. But he also has a zany, humorous side to him, so I gave him a chance. At that time he was grieving the loss of a woman he had loved for over thirty years. I reached out to him and we started talking more. We finally met going to an alumni lunch at the group home we had been in in Westchester County.
At the alumni lunch Billy in=traduced me to a friend of his, another alumni, named Wesley Buel. Wesley is also a Christian. We went to dinner before coming back to Brooklyn. Wesley seemed very easy to talk to. And I opened up to him. I was grateful to have made new friends.
I was in a rough place in my marriage. I wasn’t happy and ready to leave. I did leave. When I left, I became an emotionally and spiritually depressed wreck. I was staying with my sister until I could get a place of my own. I had talked to Wesley about how I was feeling. Wesley traveled from Williamsburg Brooklyn to Staten Island to talk to me in person. I thought this was a little odd at the time.
We went down to the shore and spent the night talking. I called in sick for work. By sunrise I pledged my heart and soul to Jesus Christ.
Go figure. Right. When you hit rock bottom you turn to God. I did.
Throughout the last two and a half years I’ve seen and experienced unexplainable spiritual things. When I pray or ask questions to God, I get answers. When I flip thorough my Bible, especially during tough times, I’m led to the passages that apply to my current situation. I get the scriptures I need to guide me through my turmoil God’s way.
And there’s more, which I’ll share with you over time.[wpurp-searchable-recipe]A Changed Life – – – [/wpurp-searchable-recipe]